When we think of cheaters, we generally think of selfish, uncaring individuals who only have one thing on their mind – sex. However the psychology of cheating is far more complex than “just wanting sex”.
If you’re worried your partner might be thinking of cheating on you, then you’d do well to look into the psychology of cheating far more than just the superficial level. Here are 3 little-known reasons why someone cheats. By understanding these, you will have a greater understanding that cheating is far more complex than meets the eye.
And by understanding this fact, you will be able to better prepare (and guard yourself) against a potential cheating episode.
1 – Personal Issues: Someone who is suffering from personal issues such as a poor body image, low self esteem or low confidence can be at an increased risk of cheating. For example, let’s take someone who suffers from a poor body image. If someone thinks they are ugly and someone new at works shows interest in them (more than their current partner) the person can begin to be drawn to this new person as a source of validation that their looks are ok. The subconscious mind will always look for ways to make a person feel better. Becoming drawn to this new person who is providing reassurance to the person is one way it can help achieve this goal.
2 – Personality Traits: Some people of certain personality traits will be at a higher susceptibility to giving into an affair than others. For example, studies have shown that people who are less agreeable, less altruistic or less conscientious than most people are more likely to have an affair. Simple things like watching how your partner treats the waiter at a restaurant or how they respond to charity collectors on the street etc …can all give you an idea of the kind of person your partner is underneath.
3 – Dis-Similar Partners: If there are significant differences between partners in a relationship (such as income levels, education levels, number of friends one has more than the other etc) these things can erode into the fabric of a relationship over time. These areas provide means for dissatisfaction to enter the relationship.
So what can you do?
When trying to analyze whether someone is likely to cheat on you or not, one of the best ways is to examine not only their personality type …but also yours. And once you know both you and your partners personality type, examine how both these personality types generally work together.
The reason this is important is because certain personality types work well together, others work ok together …and well, some are just terrible together. Imagine two controlling type individuals trying to make a relationship work – it just wouldn’t work. A controlling type individual generally works best with someone who is a supporter. The controlling type person is happy because they have the main control in the relationship …while the supporter is happy because they get to provide support to their partner. It’s a win-win scenario.
One of the best tools out there to determine what personality type you and your partner fall into is the DISC profiling system. This free online system (used by psychologists around the world) breaks down peoples personality types into 4 main quadrants. It then shows which quadrants match up well with other quadrants …while at the same time revealing the quadrants which don’t match up so well.
Of course, personality profiling is not the only determinant that determines whether someone will cheat or not. But it is a good start at peeling back the psychology behind what causes some people to cheat.